Honouring Invisible Grief:
A Reminder to Be Mindful of Those Who Have Experienced Loss This Holiday Season
The holidays are often seen as a time of joy: family gatherings, laughter, twinkling lights and the comforting idea of togetherness. It’s a time of year that encourages celebration and connection which makes it difficult for the many people who are carrying a grief that is quiet, private and largely unseen. The holidays often serve as a reminder of what has been lost.
Not all grief wears black. Not all loss is spoken aloud. Not all hearts feel joy in December.
For some, this holiday season may be the first without a loved one. For others it’s a tenth or twentieth, but the absence is still profound. There are people who show up to parties, exchange gifts and smile for photos while carrying a pain that no one notices. Grief doesn’t follow a calendar and can’t be put on pause for good food and cheerful songs.
Who Are The People We Might Not See?
Parents who have lost a child.
People who have lost a partner.
People of any age who have lost a parent, sibling, or close friend.
People who have experienced a miscarriage.
People are currently facing the death of a loved one.
How Can We Be Mindful?
Acknowledge the person’s loss. Sometimes, just saying the name of the loved one they lost can be meaningful. A gentle, “I’ve been thinking of you and ____” can offer the sense that their grief is recognized by you.
Offer space, but don’t abandon. People experiencing grief might need space but they also might need to know they are not alone. Reach out and offer an invitation to join an event, even if they say no. Be sensitive to boundaries and don’t push them into situations that are too painful.
Send a thoughtful gift or card. People grieving appreciate being thought of.
Remember special dates. Reaching out to people on the anniversary of their loved ones death or their birthday can provide immense comfort.
Provide flexibility and understanding. Emotions fluctuate. A person may want to participate in holiday festivities one minute and need to step away the next. Ease the pressure and allow them to cope in whatever way they need.
Recognize that grief doesn’t end with the holidays. Grief won’t stop when the decorations come down. The quiet after the holidays can be especially tough. Check in on your loved ones after the holidays have passed.
If you are grieving this season, know that your loss is valid and your pain is seen. You are not alone.